#Pentium Jokes
14 messages in this thread
Q&A: THE PENTIUM FDIV BUG
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
A: A mad scientist.
Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on
Pentiums?
A: The warning label.
Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
A: Successive approximations.
Q: Complete the following word analogy:
Add is to Subtract as Multiply is to:
1) Divide
2) ROUND
3) RANDOM
4) On a Pentium, all of the above
A: Number 4.
Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point
divider?
A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)
Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and
got 585.999983605.
Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards
754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic.
If you fly in aircraft designed using a Pentium, what is the
correct pronunciation of "IEEE"?
A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!
TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM – –
—————————————————————-
9.9999973251 It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
8.9999163362 It's Close Enough,We Say So
7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
6.9999831538 You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
5.9999835137 Redefining the PC — and Mathematics As Well
4.9999999021 We Fixed It, Really
3.9998245917 Division Considered Harmful
2.9991523619 Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
1.9999103517 We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
0.9999999998 The Errata Inside
—————————————————————-
Re: Your most amusing post
People from the next office came in to see why I was laughing so
hard. I looked up, unable to stop from busting my gut. I pointed at
the monitor. Giggles, then laughter, rolled around the room. Then
the printer went into swing so everybody could have a hard copy.
Thanks.
OK, ladies and gentlemen, I propose this message to be named Message
of the Year and be posted permanently on the Forum Notices:Messages
section as an example of what kind of input we need in ASOFT! That's
the spirit, kids.
In addittion, I have imported this message into Illustrator (on the
Mac). After changing it to Futura Bold, Pantone Red 032 against a
Pantone Green background, I sent the resulting file to an Iris
printer at a service bureau. I will get the resulting 60×48" banner
on Monday and cover one of the studio walls with it 🙂
BTW, where did you get this? Did any group at the Internet opened a
Pentium Jokes server to recompile all the stuff it is going arround?
<g>
There are so many jokes floating around the net regarding the Pentium
….. I had a feeling that you'd enjoy those …..
That particular set was compiled by an animator at Boss Films. I just
cleaned it up a little and cross posted it. My mailbox is full of
them. As you could probably guess, the Mac and workstation crowds
absolutely love this type of subject matter.
I'll see if I can't compile a longer list and get it to you. If it
puts a smile on your face, It'll definately be worth any time
involved.
Thanks a lot for the kind words, Paul. Here is my smile: 🙂
I am wondering what will be the real damage of the media coverage for
Intel. For sure, an increase of Intel's advertising and PR budgets
is going to be part of Intels market strategy "emergency plan" for
xmas. I bet that there will be new ads as soon as next week. Their
entire Intel Inside campaign, jokes aside, won't be enough to stop
people "thoughts."
IMHO, people really don't have a clear idea of what the bug is and
what it could do to its multimedia family clones -"Oh dear, kids
won't be able to play Dinosaurs! Let's buy a Performa" <g>. If Intel
loose market confidence… well, it could be a delicate time for
them. I have been reading the WSJ: stock of Intel, Gateway and DELL
is going dooooown. I am not sure if that tendency will be there for a
long time (it may depend on tyhe "real" market reaction). Maybe it's
time for DELL to announce its plans to make PowerMac clones. That
certainly will increase its price at NY <g>
Maybe the future of Intel is now in the cover of the National
Examiner: "Intel CEO Is Possesed by Stalin's Spirit", Fortune Teller
Says. "He wants to destroy US economy!", computers will all break
down in Dec 13th!"
I am sure that many people is having nightmares about this right now <g>
Keepingt he krazyness arround,
ana /krazy images
ps. Bela's advice is: "Bebare of the monster, bebare!"
Ana,
In all seriousness, I don't know what the final fallout will be. Intel has
quite a commanding dominance in the marketplace and there are soooooo many
complacement people out there, that it will probably take something alot more
heinous than this little bug to cause real harm.
The true damage seems to be in their initial approach to dealing with the
matter. There was alot of denial, misrepresentations, consumer outcry, etc.
which is what really damages a company. Most of the stock change that you've
witnessed is simply due to the analysts realizing that it will cost money to
refit a large number of computer systems. Hence Gateway and Dell taking a hit
as well.
If you happen to have internet access, check out comp.sys.intel and watch the
catfight. 🙂
Paul
Sorry about that…… lets make complacement … complacent in the previous
message.
Paul
Yep. But what you say about the "denials, misrepresentation, etc." is
what I was talking about. My point is that people could start to make
wrong conclusions about this stuff, which is really not dangerous for
99% of users of Intel systems. Hence, there could be a shift in
consumer perceptions, not because the bug itself but because all the
exagerations, confussion and other side effects of the media
coverage. I don't think MIS are going to panic because they are
pretty aware of what the bug is and all. Home consumers are other
story, because even if they realize that it doesn't affect them, they
could start questioning the reliability of a company that release a
entire chip family with a bug, no matter what impact the bug could
have in real world apps. So IMHO, it is not a matter of real damage
but how consumer behaviour will be affected after this kind of
information has been made public. And with the sustained rate of
expansion of the home computing market, this is sure nothing to laugh
about.
Let's see how December sales go for Intel based computers.
I don't have Internet access but I am thinking about getting it just
for getting the jokes and listen to the sound of war <g>
It could definately happen and I'm sure that more than a few people
will ask sales vendors about the "problems" with Intel chips. 🙂 Now
all we have to do is see if Apple, AMD, or others will actually take
the opportunity to flaunt their stuff. You know, so often alot of
these manufacturers suffer from a simple lack of active agressive ad
campaign.
Yes, I think it is time for some killer apps at Apple. The new
Performas are really cool computers and the ads transmit well the
message to the target audience (home computing: here we go!).
However, maybe it is time for Motorola, Apple, AMD, Cyrix and the
rest of the gang to cut some heads and make the blood reach the
river! <bwhahaha! <-psychokiller laugh> Maybe someone could make a 10
million prints run of the Pentium jokes and insert them in mags and
newspapers across the country.
I don't think AMD and Cyrix will gloat to much publicly over the FDIV bug.
Afterall, I don't think their 586 even has a FPU. LAM
Larry,
Get with the program…….. it was all just a bunch of jokes. 🙂
Paul
Tell that to Intel! <g>
Actually I just wanted 3ds people to be aware that some/most of the Pentium
aternatives don't have an FPU, and therefore are suitable for 3ds.
LAM