CompuServe Messages

Very funny! but with customers like this calling in I can imagine the caliber of tech support people dwindling or a hierarchy of technicians we geeks will have to explain the problem to only to be transferred to the next level, each and every time. Ring..Ring…Ring.. Welcome to the express lane speedy tech support line of WIZMO software. If you have a touchtone phone press one, if you do not press 2, if you need assistance with this process so far press 3, if you don't speak English press 4, ………if you got the wrong number hang up and try again. Have a nice day! presses 1 enter your software serial number now followed by the pound key. Please, do not pound the keys. Thankyou. 23456745987521087563Q234Q# I'm sorry you did not enter a valid serial number. If your serial number contains a "Q" then hit the * key for the "Q" 23456745987521087563*234*# Thank you music plays All tech support personnel are busy helping more important people right now so please hold the line and someone will be right with you. music plays 12 minutes later… Hello, tech support, Please state your name and serial number please, ….. ……………… Thank you now what is the problem? ……………………………………………………………………. ………. ……………………………………………………………………. ………. …………………………………………………………………….. ……… OK do you have your computer plugged in? YES OK I have to transfer you to my supervisor, please hold #$%^@* %^$#&&…… I'm sorry, all CSR's are busy helping more important people now but please hold the line for up to 45 minutes and a technician will be right with you. music plays 41 minutes later Hello, may I have your name and serial number please? …………. OK now what is your problem? ……………………………………………………………………. ……………. ……………………………………………………………………. ……………. ……………………………………………………………………. ……………. Hmmm?? I haven't heard that one before, must be a hardware conflict. Do you have the monitor switch on? yes Well, I can see this is really a new one on us. let me transfer you to our special advanced development group. Please hold.. I'm sorry, all CSR's are busy helping more important people now but please hold the line for up to 45 minutes and a technician will be right with you. music plays 44 minutes later Hello, may I have your name and serial number please. …, ………………………. Mr…. I've been discussing YOUR problem with our group here and we have concluded that YOUR problem is not in our software but our best guess is a bad ram chip on your main board which is sending a binary cross plex coded signal at hex dump 2043APO. This inturn destabilizes the CPU's multiplexed clock speed and simultaneously caches the internal stack registers, therefore, we suggest you pack up your system and send it back to your supplier with a detailed description of the problem and …….\ And the process repeats itself with the hardware mfg. referring back to the software mfg. Just wanted equal time for us tech support users, Jonas. <G>