CompuServe Messages

je, Damn you're good at driving a point home! I seem to have misled you, however, into writing a very well stated dissertation regarding keeping one's head well balanced. I neglected sprinkling my message with those pesky emoticons and thingys in brackets <BG> again, which is customary for me, so my message must have appeared more serious than I had intended. I can't say I'm sorry I did it tho' because I thoroughly enjoyed reading your response. <<So what about someone saying "Mexicans are lazy" and you happen to be Mexican and the other person knows is?>> That's not a nice thing to do in public or in private, and I really can't imagine anyone resorting to such a banal remark on the forum. Even I might be provoked into firing off something emotionally erratic and irresponsible to the idiot who UL such a stupid statement as that. I don't think the sysops would allow it to happen more than once without taking appropriate action either. <<And what about people replying with arrogant answers that make other people feel stupid?>> That, unfortunately, has been the case on too many occasions. It can hardly be prevented, but I like to assume (I know, never assume anything) that everyone who reads such statements forms an appropriate opinion of the author for future reference. In every case I can recall where an answer was tainted with arrogance or disdain, some kind hearted soul has rushed in to post an apology and offered a courteous and helpful answer. <<And for that matter anyone making anyone else feel belittled as I'm sure the thread heading KEVIN STOP IT did?>> Well, that started the fire storm, didn't it? Why did that message have to be posted anyway. Wouldn't the more appropriate response be a private e-mail, or a note leading to Take 5? I don't know… maybe that was tried first, and the only recourse seemed to be to blast away in public. I didn't enjoy reading the tantrum any more than anyone else who has commented on it. It was … well, embarrassing for lack of a better term. But heck, why dwell on it any more. It's over. <<What your suggestion implies is that there is only one sin, that of making a personal attack. >> Yeah, I guess it does if you read it without the smily face after it. 🙂 <<I find it much more offensive when someone comes to the forum for an answer and through oversight, or because of an already self professed ignorance gets slammed for not knowing, or is answered in an arrogant manner. That I find very disturbing as it is contrary to the intent and purpose of this forum and has alienated alot more people.>> Amen. I couldn't improve on this statement at all. Very well put! <<I don't have as clear a view of the solution as you, I think common sense and rational behaviour should be the order of the day, and that a tone can be set by the general populace which will encourage that kind of behaviour.>> Again, my intention was along the lines of "A Modest Proposal." Without the emoticons and punctuation faces, everything is so serious. I agree completely that common sense and rational behavior is paramount to this type of communication. <<I do agree that emotional thoughts should be put aside, I also agree the wires that guide our fingers on the keyboard should be connected to the rational portion of our brain. But I know from experience, that there have been times when I took more than a few moments to think (at least that's what I thought I was doing) of an appropriate response only to find that my thinking was clouded by my perception (not necessarily emotional) at the time.>> But in the end, John, did you blast away without restraint? If yes, what were the consequences of your actions. If no, aren't you gald you didn't? <<Is it not possible that someone can learn what's appropriate and that they're contribution may be greater than this particular flaw in their social skills.>> If the flaw in their social skills is uncontrollable rage and rude, insulting outbursts in public places, I can't see how any contribution could outweigh the flaw. I like to believe we exist here for short periods of time in a civilized society guided by a loosely defined code of acceptable conduct. That code includes the requirement of controlling one's emotions even when situations are influenced by factors invisible to the populace. We all have the ability to selectively ignore anything. <<Is it not also possible that there are many people out there who would contribute and not lurk if they felt comfortable that they could make mistakes without retribution.<< Sure, that's a major problem. I've been lurking for years, and still do in many places, but I'm comfortable here and in SC2K, so I contribute my drivel at my own peril. I don't welcome getting flamed for speaking out, but it;'s bound to happen if I continue to leave off the freakin' emoticons! 😉 😮 <<Or has it been pre-ordained that only the socially adept and the technically skilled need participate. Yes I suppose, for some that would be very convienent.>> Well, uhhhhh… a cursory perusal of the many sections of this forum shoots that assumption full of holes. <<"Americans work all the time and don't know how to live" and they themselves had a fair amount of inherited wealth from a foreign two class system, would you take it personally? … And how would you respond? I responded that it is easy for someone with wealth unearned that has the leisure to "live it" to make a comment like that. That would be a personal attack, no?>> Only if they were in my face with a handful of my lapels. I try not to let ignorant people irritate me to the point that I lose my temper and act stupid. I tend to evaluate people by observing them over long periods of time. Everyone has a bad day, and everyone does stupid things. Those who frequently do and/or say stupid things tend to fall out of my field of view rather quickly. There is much to see in this life, and I try not to clutter it up by tolerating inordinate amounts of ignorance. I would probly respond by laughing real loud, calling a cop, or leaving without comment. Who needs to defend the American lifestyle? <<The point being that defining "personal attack" is as much in the intent as what is said; here we have no tone or inflection. This conversation could just have easily gone on between two people who were ribbing each other in a light hearted manner.>> Once again, amen. You've said it all, and I agree. Nice message, je. (no emoticon here, I mean it) …B.